March 4, 2017

Five Ways Adoption Has Changed My Life

A bio kids reasons on  why you should adopt.

I have 8 siblings through adoption and two biological sisters. Family is everything to me. I wanted to share five reasons adoption has improved my life.

 

1. It’s taught me to look beyond appearances. My adopted siblings have African heritage or Colombian heritage, both come with extreme prejudice and stereotype. I have seen the looks and heard the hurtful words. I have seen glimpses of a racist society through the shadows of my siblings. I’ve heard the backlash of not acting like the stereotype; I’ve heard blaming of being exactly like the stereotype. They can’t win. I’ve seen a life destroyed by trying to be what society thought they should be. I’ve seen the reflection of world of fear, fear for siblings of not being physically safe, something I take for granted. I’ve seen the pain in my parents’ faces when ignorance won and hurt their child. Firstly, adoption taught me to meet someone and judge by their actions not looks and without any expectations. In the past I hid behind my ignorance and I teased and labeled my siblings thinking I was funny. I see now how putting a label before a person hurts the person and highlights my own white privilege; transracial adoption has taught me this.

2. Adoption taught me to have empathy. I am the middle child, well kind of; I was displaced so many times that I show qualities of the youngest, middle, and oldest. I was a shy child and I didn’t mind being in the back of the room, sometimes I preferred it and often played by myself. I believe this was helpful because I could watch and listen. I watched my parents work together as a team to help the children they adopted. I watched siblings act out because all they wanted was to feel loved. Sometimes I was scared, but today I’m glad that I got to see and experience what I did because it’s made me more empathetic to others’ needs. I know my parents love me as much as their adopted children even though sometimes I felt like I didn’t get any of their attention.

3. Adoption has taught me that you can overcome anything. You are not your past; my siblings are not there biological parents. Most of my siblings have broken the circle of drug addictions and trauma due to broken homes. Most of my siblings are the complete opposite of where they came from. With the help of my parents and their own persistence and determination they have chosen to be exactly who they want to be and achieve what they want to achieve. I am so proud of them for breaking such a hard cycle and choosing to go beyond a society’s stereotype and be themselves. One of my favorite quotes is, “You are YOU and that is your power.” I’m not sure who wrote it, but my siblings have found their power and have overcome so much.

4. Adoption has taught me to give and then give more. My parents are a team, I know things were hard and I know sometimes things are still hard. They gave their time, their home, their hearts, and their lives to change and save eight children. I respect them so much for that. I tend to cut toxic people out of my life and I seem to give up on people;they don’t and I don’t know how they do it. They never give up. So in a way they taught me to give and never give up on anyone; this is such a hard thing for me.

5. Adoption taught me to be easy going and get along with almost everyone. I know that the number of siblings I have has something to do with this as well, but nonetheless it’s a quality I cherish. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some people no matter how hard I try I’ve had to just let go out of my life because I cannot get along with them. But, I can honestly say I get along with just about everyone and I love that being raised in chaos has allowed me to be this way.

So if you’re questioning adoption and you’re not sure how it will affect your biological kids or the kids already in the home, I hope this was helpful. Adoption cannot be seen with rose-colored glasses on, but it also isn’t a nightmare. Adoption changes more lives than just the child being saved, getting a home, and getting love – it affects everyone involved; but in the end through all the pain and hard times, it is for the better.

Here is a video with me singing at The Adoption Exchange event. This is a perfect song foster care and adoption.


Interested in adopting a child? The Adoption Exchange helps find homes for children and can help answer any questions you have and guide you along the way. Also check out your local Foster Care Foundation to get more info on becoming a foster parent.
Thanks for joining the party today. Let me know if this was helpful by commenting an sharing.

Xoxo

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